Let’s talk self-care

So, what is self-care?

Self-care is often thought of as this wishy-washy thing that mainly 'sensitive' people in-tune with their feelings do (at least that's the vibe I sometimes get from people when I talk about self-care!). But let's just break it down to its absolute simplest form. 

As the name suggests, it literally means doing things to take care of yourself. What do people go to the gym for? Mainly to look and feel good? Self-care. What do people do yoga and meditation for? To feel calm and less anxious? Self-care. The less we think of self-care as this mystic thing only accessible to a select few, the more we see that most of us are actually already doing self-care without even realising it. 

What are the different types of self-care?

Now, I like to think that there are two forms of self-care; the sporadic and the scheduled.

Sporadic self-care is the activity you do in response to an event or experience that has triggered an emotional, behavioural or mood change. For example, you've had a bad day at work and to take your mind off things, you go for ice cream with your mates later that night. Or you've been going through a tough time lately and decide to take the day off work or uni to catch up on errands and book a massage to treat yourself. Sometimes, sporadic self-care can even look like getting an extra two hours of sleep. This sporadic form of self-care is important! It's often these little things (hopefully/ideally in combination with other helpful strategies like reaching out to your support network, going to therapy etc.) that help us get through those tough days! 

But the other form of self-care that often requires more work is the scheduled kind. The kind that is embedded into our schedules and our lives. So for example, having a yoga class booked in every week (if yoga isn't your thing, replace this example with dancing, sport, karate, piano, whatever you like!) can be super beneficial - our brains for the most part like structure and regularity! Another benefit of having something regular to look forward to is that when things happen in our lives that affect our mood, we have that thing booked in, ready to go and waiting for us. It's like a reward. And it's a bonus if that something feels safe, supportive and has been proven to positively shift your mood!

How do you build self-care into your life?

Self-care scheduling doesn't need to be this big undertaking. Before you even start, think about the things/activities that you already do that bring you joy and lift your mood. A good start is making a commitment to do those things more regularly. 

Want to try something new? My first advice is to start small. Personally, any time I’ve planned to go on 3 walks, do 1 yoga class and 1 dance class all in one week has miserably failed - because I aimed too unrealistically high. Start small with one activity, maybe just once a week and then build it up after you get into the habit of that. 

My second piece of advice is to actually schedule that activity. I guarantee if you set yourself the goal of doing a mindfulness audio at any point during the week, you will not do it. But, setting a 10 minute mindfulness audio session on Tuesday at 2pm is more likely to stick, isn't it? 

My final piece of advice is to prioritise your self-care. When life gets chaotic and busy and you need to find more time during the week, it can be very tempting to cut into your self-care time. If a client wants to chat on Tuesday at 2pm, rather than reschedule your mindfulness time, tell the client you're available at 2:15pm instead. Understandably, some stuff will come up that may not be that flexible (hello specialist appointment that you've been waiting two months to get), but where possible, prioritise your self-care time. Because the reality is, if you push it to the side, it will keep getting pushed to the side until you're back where you started - having no time for yourself.

Why should you even bother with self-care?

What would happen to your car if you didn't fill it up with fuel? What would happen to your plants if you didn't fill up the can to water them? See where I'm going here? Not only does self-care help our own emotional and mental state, but if we look after ourselves, it also helps us to look after those around us too. Remember - you have to put on your own oxygen mask before helping the people around you.

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