‘Tis the season - for looking after your mental wellbeing

The Festive Season is fun for some, but for others it might actually not be the most wonderful time of the year. 2022 has been another big year both at the collective and individual levels, with more people than ever experiencing mental health problems, on top of all the ups and downs that come naturally as part of our human existence. 

So, if you’re not feeling particularly great about the fast approaching silly season, please know first and foremost that you’re not alone. I want to share with you some different tools you may like to use to cope with the holidays, depending on what you’re experiencing. 

Grieving during the holidays?

Whether this is your first holiday season without a loved one, or whether you’ve been through more, this time of year can make you miss that person more than you already do.

Whatever your situation, it's important to take time for yourself and connect with family, friends and other supports during this time.

It might also be useful to celebrate the life of your lost loved one with other family and friends who knew them. This could look like creating space to do things that you would have done with them, sharing fond memories, or leaving a space at the table for them. 

Having said that, it’s also absolutely okay if that feels too hard and you don’t want to celebrate this year, too. Often we can feel pressure to put on a smile and carry on the holiday cheer despite how we’re feeling inside. But I think it’s important to honour our emotions, and if your heart is feeling heavy, it’s okay to sit this year out. 

If you would like some extra support, during the holidays and beyond, you can contact:

Lifeline: 13 11 14, 24 hours/7 days a week, chat online or email.

Beyond Blue: 1300 22 4636, 24 hours/7 days a week, chat online or email.

FriendLine: 1800 424 287, 7 days a week.

Feeling anxious about the festive season?

Maybe you’re anxious about certain activities, events, or seeing family and friends you’re not usually in contact with. Whatever the reason, if you’re feeling anxious these holidays (or anytime, really), it’s important to make sure you’re putting yourself first.

This could look like taking time for yourself and doing the things that genuinely fill your cup; even if that’s binge watching your favourite show on Netflix for 2 days.

Many of us feel this pressure to pack the break full of activities, but the truth is that it’s okay to do nothing. It has been another really big year for many people, and taking time for rest and recovery may be exactly what you need. 

If you’re feeling anxious about going out and doing things on the regular, it might be worth speaking to someone about that. In the meantime, you can try some of these techniques to help regulate your nervous system:

• Breathe: you could try the 4/7/8 technique, deep breathing, and box breathing.

• Progressive Muscle Relaxation: PMR is an amazing tool to use to calm your entire nervous system.

Fending off appearance-based comments? 

Ah yes, the Christmas lunch conversation topic that many of us dread all throughout the holidays. For many, the lead up to family gatherings means preparing yourself to fend off unhelpful comments about your appearance or eating.

Sometimes those comments can actually be really distressing, triggering and harmful, particularly if you’re already experiencing body image issues. Here’s the thing, these comments aren’t always intended to hurt, and can even be meant as a compliment. But the intention is irrelevant, when the words are triggering either way.

If someone makes a comment about the way you look, or the food you’re eating, it’s okay to take some time out if you need it. Maybe you can excuse yourself to go to the bathroom, or step outside to play with a pet - whatever works to shift the focus.

If you have a safe relationship with the person and you feel comfortable doing so, you can also be assertive in this situation and ask the person to not make those kinds of comments. In this situation, it could be best to simply say something along the lines of “I’m not comfortable talking about this”. If they respect you, they’ll quickly pivot the conversation. 

Of course, another option is to change the direction of the conversation, for example, if someone mentions you’ve lost weight, you could reply with “And what’s been happening with you this year?”. Simple, yet effective!

All in all, the holidays aren’t always amazing - and that’s okay. 

Take time when you need it, make sure you continue to do your usual self-care activities, and remember to put yourself first.